he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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