She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
