ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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