Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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