i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
