I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
