The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
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Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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