A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
