She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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