i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
