What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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