Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
