apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
