I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
