his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
ugly people sure do ruin things
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
