they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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