id be glad to
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
