I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
