I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
