just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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