I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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