He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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