marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
