I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
