theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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