8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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