I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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