umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
