all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
