Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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