Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
