Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
