C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize