Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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