He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
