remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
