Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
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He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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