Just fell off a train. Bad.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
