Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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