Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
