i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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