Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
