Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
