Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
