May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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