sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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