I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize