i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
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we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
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it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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