Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
