everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
