Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
