member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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