I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
