he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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