Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
