Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
