Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
