i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
