She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
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Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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