have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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