Im at strip club and am horny
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
